ScuzzBlog: Diaries January 2021 Entry 14th January 2021: Post 2: Apple ][europlus - Not the cash register. Apple ][europlus - Not the cash register. This is a true story ... [ or not ] In 1976 a bunch of nerds were quietly dragging a large trunk of electrical junk they had pilfered from the Home Brew Junk Convention in Palo Alto. The group were set upon by a gang calling themselves the 'WineSaps' led by a nutter called 'Jobs'. They cornered the four and took from their hands leaflets promoting Steins Gate. 'What the f*ck is ANIME ?'.... One nerd called Steve stepped forward .. 'Me, Tim, Kim and Freidl here have just been to the cinema club and that's what is showing'. 'But it says 2009 here ' Jobs wasn't convinced ' What's in the trunk '. They broke it open to find loads of electronic gadgets. 'Take them boys'. The four plus the trunk were thrown into the back of a VWMicrobus. After a short journey to 6502 Kildall, Mountain View, Sunnydale or just simply the 'Byte Shop' they were cast into a dark basement and chained to heating pipework. Jobs was convinced these guys could make him a cash register. His motley group were apple traders and their cash machine was bust. Jobs grabbed the one guy by the throat ' What's your name ?' The guy replied 'Steve... Steve Wozniak'. Jobs tightened his grip and looked at an old wooden cash register smashed on the bench. ' You are gonna make me a new cash register or we are going to lock the door and never let you out '. The guy agreed. The gang left and the four pondered their fate. Freidle was strugg- ling with his heart unable to cope. Tim suggested they make him a new heart plus some armour and they should bust their way out. Steve thought better. 'Listen I have my old HP-65 here and I bet we could fashion something, better. And if we make it complex enough just maybe we could convince them to let us demonstrate upstairs and that way get away ' Kim retorted ... 'Bonkers idea but worth a shot. Chuck in some peddles and it may just work' A few days past and soon they were ready to show their new cash register. Gleaming wood they managed to talk the gang into letting them demonstrate when the shop was full. Many were in the store buying fruit and particularly apples. Jobs called on Steve to show off his gleaming cash till... The other three snuck outside and had already fired up the VW when Jobs moved to the bogus cash register which he dubbed the Pippin. As Jobs switched on the contraption he realised he had been duped and Steve was already out the door and making for the VW... He threw his calculator at Jobs screaming ' Sucker ' and was off in the van and racing away. Jobs was so angry and yelled out ' What the furk am I going to do with this load of crap ? '. A dark shadowy character by the name of Hououin Kyoma offered his services to use the machine. And so the Pippin cash register was born along with the Apple Store and jobs became its first true genius and the rest is history. For his efforts Kyoma received the HP-65 and the VWMicrobus , which legend has it was turned into a time machine ... or a DeLorean. Not sure. As for Wozniak he was last seen hurtling into the sky aboard a silver gleaming VW and was screaming ' I'll be back '. And the moral to this story .. We all become ethereal one day so why worry. Roll credits ..The Eagles Already Gone 1976 Hotel California Apple ][europlus - Not the cash register.

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Last updated 14th January 2021

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