ScuzzBlog: Diaries March 2020
Entry 22nd March 2020: Post 03: Tomb Raider Underworld - Now playing.
Tomb Raider Underworld - Now playing.
When I checked the save dates for my Tomb Raider Underworld game
on the PS3 I was quite amazed that the last time I played was
2009 and looks like I only ever played the once. So why was that?
Only one way to find out and that is to play again. So this last
week I have been playing the lovely Lara Croft and trying to
complete the game.
Crystal Dynamics ... Legend, Anniversary and Underworld. Sadly
not good... not good at all. And that is without the abomination
that is the rebooted Tomb Raider, which isn't, in my view a Lara
Croft Tomb Raider game. It is a shooter, and a very bad one at that.
Anyway, what was wrong. Lara looks great and I have no issues
with the character. The voice acting and cinematic are wonderful
and the story is kinda acceptable albeit a little contrived. I
have to say , like in Batman and the killing of his father and
mother, I find the whole Lara family searching really boring.
So that was the good bits. And now the bad.
The movement controls are a mess. They rely too much on the thumb
sticks for accurate control of Lara when in fact as ever the actual
window set by the game for 'accurate' stick action is so precise
to warrant a fixed camera shot and way way better programming of
movement from the character. She pivots on a bar and I get the
whole balancing trick but if I want her to drop right I don't want
to have constant battles with the camera disappearing into the wall
making the next action impossible. She literally will stand facing
one way and then drop the other. I have had nearly every action
possible from her jumping movements and have become bewildered
why she does certain things.
Next is the grapple or more precisely ( or not ) the swing. She
is so difficult to control from the hanging rope or grapple. She
refuses point blank to swing in the direction you want and worse
the curse of the drunken camera just struggles to let you get
an accurate line on your trajectory. It gets worse cus sometimes
in failing you have to traverse the whole area again to get back
to where you were unsuccessful. And then... she is likely to spin
off right, left, drop straight down instead of reaching for the
platform. I appreciate there is skill in this but I can only use
the tools as they are presented to me. So when I have set up the
swing and aim at the target I can only eject her at the desired
point. If she decides to take a sideways leap or just drop to
the floor I can do no more.
All this gets even more frustrating cus the death may result in
an important item not being where it should be. In one of the areas
I had to move a large column before setting off around the whole
area climbing various levels. I made one mistake at the very end
and was placed just before where I fell. Sadly when I got to the
final place in the zone to leap over to the statue, guess what,
the column that I moved was no longer there. My death had placed
it back and yet the game didn't tell me anything.
The combat is truly crap. I mean crap. There is no requirement to
find ammo and the actual skill levels in fighting are like zero.
What is more annoying is the hand grenade things which are a
struggle to master and can literally go off in your face.
She hops over objects completely without stopping, turns and jumps
the other way to where you are pointing, uses her health pots even
though I have triggered nothing, drops off ledges even though she
has come to the end and should go round the corner. And the very
very worst is the jump back stick action that will simply not let
you jump back but insist on you going back down the wall face.
It is very very very very frustrating and demonstrates just how bad
Crystal Dynamics are as a game developer.
I am on my second attempt in a week to get through the game and
hoped my learning curve would have tipped sufficiently to make the
game enjoyable. Far from it, she is still a pain to control. Man
is she annoying. The camera is just bonkers. I just completed a
couple of months of Final Fantasy XIII-2, Lightning Returns and
HitMan Absolution and I have been spoilt rotten by excellent game
mechanics and great stick action. To have to come back to this
junk has been a real struggle.
One last thing. Motorbikes. I didn't play Lara Croft Tomb Raider
to ride a 'cking motorbike. Especially one that has worse handling
than the cars in Micromachines, and that is going some. There is
a time gate in one location and you have to park the bike perfectly
to give you any chance of doing the run. So you set the discs that
can take a while, have to suffer an animation of the gate opening,
run to the motorbike, hop on race across one leap jump, around a
spiked pit and then through two tunnels making sure you don't lose
your way [ no maps ]... and the very nice person at CD decided he
would have the thing timed to perfect precision. And so when you
fail you have to then spend like ages setting the bike up properly
at the top of some steps, then reset the puzzle discs, watch the
stupid animation and then do the bike ride .. again .... A PAIN.
And the game is like bonkers short. Really short.
If it is not fun it aint a game. remember that. Nuff said.
Tomb Raider Underworld - Now playing.
So when is a Tomb Raider game not
a Tomb Raider game... When it is
made by Crystal Dynamics.
And having destroyed the franchise
some idiot goes and makes a film
based on the same crap computer game.
It's like the actual original game
concept was chucked in the bin along
with the true Lara Croft. Insulting.
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